I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize