You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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