You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize