I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
