Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
