Where is the hickey?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
