Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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