I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
