haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
