Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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