Buhtt sex?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
