is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
