i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize