so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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