so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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