My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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