I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
