But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
