I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
