Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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