I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Everclear isn't food dammit
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
