watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
