So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
