Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My cat gives me a boner
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're like the curious george of whores
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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