we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
