Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
