i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
