I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
