He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
