Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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