He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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