Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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