real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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