I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
