I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
