dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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