It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
