I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
