The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
