When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
