Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
