i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Randomize
