I can tuck mytits in my pants
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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