sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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