dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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