please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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