apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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