Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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