Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She bit a glass in half.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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