i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
