she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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