after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
