i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
