I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
