oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
