You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
