how can u be prego again
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
