why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize