Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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