"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
