She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
