The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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