i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have aggressive nipples.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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