Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
