I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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