it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
