Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
