i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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