Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
