Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
